wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
