You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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