Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
