Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
