the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
