please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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