UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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