You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
