Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
