Michael Bay diarrhea
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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