I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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