Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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