That's intense
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
