maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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