You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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