Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
