there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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