how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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