drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
