Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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