Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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