I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
