is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize