South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
