i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
