Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
