I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize