Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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