I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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