he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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