Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
