found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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