I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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