Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
