you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
