i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
