if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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