he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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