If i come over, it means nothing
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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