Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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