You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.