Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he fucked my hip out of place.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
