But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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