your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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