some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize