i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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