No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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