Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
