He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
