do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
