Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
