Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
