I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
