I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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