I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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