Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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