Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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