anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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