I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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