Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
