Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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