You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
