Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
